For Queer Ladies, What Truly Matters as Losing Your Virginity?

For Queer Ladies, What Truly Matters as Losing Your Virginity?

I snuck out of bed and into the darkness of my balcony, alone after I hooked up with someone. a wreck that is nervous we texted my pal, practically hyperventilating due to one thing I’d never anticipated to be concerned about after all.

Longing for a remedy, we texted: Am we still a virgin if I’d intercourse with a lady?

My pal asked the things I thought, but i must say i didn’t understand. The woman I’d slept with defined intercourse as penetration, so by her meaning, we hadn’t had intercourse. She, because the older, long-time queer when you look at the hookup, had the top hand. I did son’t think it had been as much as me. In the end, just exactly what did i understand concerning the rules of girl-on-girl intercourse, aside from what truly matters as losing your virginity? Would it be intercourse only if half associated with the people involved thought it had been?

In my opinion, it felt want it needed to be intercourse, because if you don’t intercourse, that which was it?

It absolutely was a panic We never likely to feel. I happened to be super open-minded. I became super feminist. I will are beyond delighted and empowered by the undeniable fact that I’d had an optimistic encounter that is sexual. But alternatively of cuddling your ex I became resting with and basking within our post-sex glow, or also vocalizing my worry over whether or not we’d just had sex, I became panicking in solitude.

My identification happens to be a blur—i’m biracial , bisexual, and queer—and it is a thing that makes me feel murky, not sure of who i will be. Virginity had been simply the latest thing to freak down about. We endured at night alone and tried to find out, yet again, just how to define myself.

I needed, desperately, to understand in the event that sex I happened to be having “counted.” And I’m not the only person. Continue reading For Queer Ladies, What Truly Matters as Losing Your Virginity?